Friday, April 5, 2013

A Peek Out the Mormon Closet

“Well what about the whole Sex thing?”

 This was it.  The question I dreaded.  It was unavoidable.  I was going on dates with a non-member.  Roberta (Nope, not even trying to hide it’s a fake name) had been my best friend for years.  I don’t have any childhood friends, but I grew up with Roberta. She was my supporter.  I had told her everything until now. 

 I met Roberta at Brigham Young University.  She was an art student and I had the very scandalous job as a model! That right, people would draw me, and my perfect body in… a bikini.  Meeeeow!   One of the art students asked me to tell them my most embarrassing moment.  I had a reputation for being one of the more entertain models as I really would reveal all.  I decided to tell them the story where I Accidently absent mildly wore my bra over my shirt and then promptly went to visit the Boy I had a huge crush on.  I Honest to God Had  NO IDEA MY BRA WAS ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY SHIRT. I went to his apartment and took off my coat having no clue I was exposing myself to a bunch of Mormon boys.  They gave me some soup and we talked about life and school.  I’m fairly sure at least two of them had never seen a Bra before. Finally after ten minutes of awkward conversation the boy who secretly made me blush raised his hand… “yes?” I asked him,

"Can I ask you a personal question?", Hottie said

"Yes Oprah?" I said

“Whats with the swimming suite top?”, Asked the love of my life.

“Well she said she was at the hot tub right?”, a nerd piped in.

“I don’t understand?  Whats the question?” I said confused,

“Look down!” said the only man in the room who knew what a Bra was.

“OH SHNOT!” I yelpt, Grabing my jacket and jumping over the table.  Spilling my soup on the nerd. “sorry" I yelled, "I’ll clean it later.”  And that was how I met my future never-boyfriend.

From that moment on Roberta and I were Best Friends Forever….well at least that’s what I hoped.  I had not told anyone at this point...

“I don’t know how you can date a Non-member." Roberta said,  "And atheist at that!  Did you tell him you won’t have sex until you are married?”

“Robo, I’m not going to wait till marriage.”  there was a pause. I filled the silence with a very well thought out ramble as I tried to find a reasonable excuse for still being Mormon but not fallowing the key commandment.  When I started in on the slimily of my life to the TV show Fraggle Rock I stopped… I had to come clean.  “Robo, I don’t  Believe Joseph Smith is a Prophet.”  The words felt like coffee from my mouth. Stale and unrepentantly Black.(note I have only had coffee once)  

There was a pause again.  I was waiting for it.  Would she yell at me for throwing my life away? Would she try shamelessly to change my mind?  Or would she do what I feared most…Hang up.  I didn’t want my last look at her to be through the picselated  screen on Skype but what could I do?  And then it happened.
“oh…well…that makes me sad.  It’s okay” She said

“really?” I said

“yeah, I have had friends leave before” she said. 

I knew she had had friends leave before.  The other times had not been so pretty.  We talked openly for a while about how I came to the belief and about her beliefs.  I told her I was happy.  Truly unabatedly happy.  And the most beautiful thing was she was happy for me.   

 "I still love you", she said

"I love you too" I said

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