Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Joseph Smith Jr.

The text message read “This is Joseph Smith Jr.”

How did he know?!  Is he talking to me from the afterlife? My heart started pounding.  Maybe it is true and this is Gods warning! AHH! After an insane moment I remember that last night I was looking through my magic mirror(internet) and a man on a dating site recognized I was from Mormon land. I let out a sigh of relief as I realized I was not being visited by Joe Smith Jr.   As I mentioned from my last post I really have a hard time going on dates because all I want to talk about the church. Luckily, all this man wanted to do was talk about the church!  He was an intellectual.  I grab my keys and ran to meet him for dinner.  Ah yes the perfect date.  Where I just sit and talk about Mormonism.  And did I talk.  You cannot even scratch the surface of Mormonism in two hours but I gave it my best shot.  

“So no one knows your leaving?  Your family?” He said

“Nope!” I said with pride

He looked down at his plate and shuffled rice, “You must feel so alone.”

I was not expecting that.  It took me a second to register what he had said.  I could tell from the way he spoke my story was affecting him.  I’m a strong woman.  I have literally fought for my life.  I was uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

 “Let me ask you something. Do you know you are beautiful?”

“Yes. I have been told all my life I am beautiful.” I said chipperly

He looked Up. “No. I did not ask if people have told you. I asked if you knew.”

“Well. Yeah, I mean I think I am beautiful,” still fighting to maintain my composer

“But you don’t know,” he said. “You know nothing about Men.  You say you don’t understand these guys you have been seeing.  I will tell you this.  Every man you meet wants to sleep with you because you are gorgeous. You do not need to put up with Shit.  This guy that bootie sexted you, or the guy who was hitting on your waitress. You know ‘Good’ is ‘Greats’ ach enemy. Don’t settle for someone who doesn't want to know you. Wait here!” He jumped from his seat and ran to his car. In a moment he returned with a book.  Inside was a note for me. “When I talked to you on the phone I knew you needed this.”

The book is called The Icarus Deception and the note read

 “let me give you some advice. You are entering a very exciting time.  This will be the year of firsts for you. You need to get some people in your corner before you start. The world out there is-“

“I know” I said, “It’s a horrible awful place.”

“No.” he said, “It’s wonderful.  You will see. It is incredible!   People are amazing and are more understanding than you think. You only get one life but if you do it right you really only need one.”

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