Sunday, October 26, 2014

Porn and Potato; The Secrets of Love

I have sat here for about 20 minutes trying to find a clever way to start this post. I've considered Shakespearean quotes and flowery poems.  I wanted my intro to reflect the sentiment of the topic but clearly it's falling short.  From cliches to come on's nothing feels right. This post is about love. Plain and simple.  Not dating, not sex, and not the awkward in-between of forced laughter and fake organisms.  I have talked a LOT about dating on this blog.  I have experimented, and hypothesized what it would be like to date a person who was not Mormon. But I have not really discussed love.    

Well I must confess something to you my friends...I'm slight uncomfortable with the topic of love.  Maybe it's the expectation of heighten emotion, or maybe its the vulnerability required to maintain it. Never the less, I love my never-mormon boyfriend Alex.  

"Emma!" You say, "Why did you keep this from us, your loyal BreakingMormon cronies?"
I guess I just wanted to make sure it was real.  I held on to the idea that all men outside the church were immoral sexual predators. After all that is what I have been told all my life.  Alex is nothing like the monster the church has made him out to be.  He is a sweet and caring person.  He is honest...sometimes a little too honest, but that's one of the things I love about him.   
 I think the most penurious weapon the church uses is the way they paint Love. "Love is wonderful and eternal", says the church "but also that love is dangerous. Do not let yourself fall in love with a non-Mormon. Love must be controlled. Do not express love with your bodies.  Love is conditional. If your spouse leave the church he dose not love God and can't love you." The list of expectations goes on and on and it is tragic to watch two people lose love over it.  

Here I flashback to my youth.  Sitting in church staring at poor Sister Anderson.  She is married but her husband has left the church. Teachers in class would use her life as a warning to the dangers of love.  So alone she sits. "How sad", I think "Her husband must be such a bad and lazy person. A fat slovenly man with potato chips strewn a crossed his pot beer belly."  
Ladies and gentleman you must not let the church use love as a weapon.  You must escape the fear surrounding non-mormon love. I know you are scared because dating in the modern world is frighting.  You have been told many lies about sex.  You are afraid, I know, I was too.  You are imagining that potbellied man sitting on your couch eating potato chips and watching porn.  and I will tell you he exists!  but you do not have to date that man.  You are smart enough to see the wolf in sheep's clothing.  Will men use lies to get you to sleep with them.  Well, they will try.  But I will let you in on a little secret. Those same men will be lazy.  If you proceed with caution and only do things when you have established trust in the relationship that porn and potatoes man will get bored. He move on and leave you alone. The man(or woman) who will truly love and care for you will be there.  Even after the 17th make out session.  Will he want to have sex with you.  Yes!  dose that make him bad.  No!   Will he watch porn? Yes!  Will that make him bad?  Not really.  That makes him human. 

In short you must trust your own judgment and move slowly.  Love is out there my friends.  I found it and it's amazing!  Now it's your turn.        

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Ordain Woman

What would happen if Woman were given the priesthood? This woman has a pretty good idea. She has figured out 4 simple step to survive Woman in the church work place.  She my be a Mormon but she get it and she has a since of humor.  I got to give her props for this.  Though she is probably brainwashed she has enough of a mind left to recognize how the church leaders are better at controlling people then trusting them to think for themselves.  The church leaders are just stupid old men who wish we all would stop using all this new fangled technology and go back to a simpler time where TV had 3 channels and only a white male property holders could vote.  Ahhhh yes the good old days.

I'll admit when I hear about all this Ordain Woman nonsense I just think "Ladies LEAVE!  How can you be so close to freedom and yet stop short!  Keep going, freedom is just one ex-communication away!"

I understand how the relief society president with her perfectly modest skirt can fall into the "role of a woman" crap.  But how can there be so many wonderfully beautiful woman who recognize the sexism of the church still attend?  Not only to they recognize it, but they want more. More sexism!  I'm sure if woman got the priesthood the next step would be letting us get our own planet in the after life.  Or maybe the enjoy a monogamous afterlife with our husband.   On rare occasion I attempt to understand the Mormon woman perspective. I'll admit it is a nice community but besides that...

If you have any idea how these half robot woman exist in the the church feel free to enlighten me...Please leave a comment...  Because I'm stumped.