It's that time of year again. Christmas trees all lit up, family togetherness and a little time off work! That is what Christmas means to me anyway. Of course that is not always how I felt. I forgot about the whole celebrating of the virgin who gave birth to the son of God thing. I find it funny how many Christians have selfishly decided that only christian have the right to enjoy this holiday. That it's wrong for people to focus on the joy they get from giving and receiving gifts. Don't forget how important it is to God that you sit in his church and learn the purity of some woman who was TOTALLY a virgin....Riiiiight. We live in a world that revolves around work and money. Well fine, I'll thank God I'm getting a few vacation days.
PHEWWW.....Okay okay I'm calm....But before I turn this post into a bitter diatribe about the religious grip of the X-Mass season I'm going to stop myself. This is not a post about God or Christmas. This is about family and how to navigate the crashing of worlds...and of course sex.
This is my first Christmas as a non-christian. My family has not even been in town for 24 hours and I have already been interrogated about my belief in Jesus and my sexual status. Here is where I had to take a breath and look back at THIS post from when I was first learning how to place boundaries.
Yesterday I walked into a Mormon church for the first time in a year. My family was all going to sacrament meeting. Just sacrament. I did not wish to go to church, but being the only non-Mormon home for the holidays I decided one hour would be doable. I wore pants and a purple sweater. Not as a protest but as a convenience. How liberating it feels to walk into a sacrament meeting with no concern for the opinions of other. I must say I'm very proud of myself. I didn't really pay attention to the speakers. Not out of defiance but rather out of boardom. It felt nice not to feel about the church.
Then I had a tiny moment of victory. A moment that warmed my heart only way being yourself can.
Sitting there next to my brother sacrament plate appeared. There was all that torn up bread. This is the first time a sacrament plate had been placed in front to me since my de-virginizing. Naturally I thought, "Oh I should not take this." My hand jerked away from the plate. Then almost as fast I snatched up the biggest piece of bread I could see. "Fuck that!" I thought, "I'm not a bad person and also... I'm hungry." That bread felt good going down. Almost as good as it felt going down on my boyfriend the night before. mmmm....yummy.... dressed up like and Elf with a green a red panties. Striped knee socks and a Elf Hat. "Santa baby, I'm very good at making toys, would you like to see my wood working skills." HAHAHA! LOVE SEX PUN. They were flying like Santa's sleigh last night.
Alex and I did have a wonderfully fun and sexy night together. I made is snow and he plowed my driveway. We talked a lot and shared our love. I like dressing up for him. I'm lucky that I was able to leave the faith without being permanently scared by the Mormon chastity belt. I enjoyed all of my naughty thoughts as the deacons continued passing sacrament.
When the tray of sacrament water cups arrived I grab one and like a jello shot. I threw it back and slammed it. "Ah! That's good stuff " I said to my Mormon brother.
He pused a little shocked. Then he said, "That is weak, I could down a whole tray."
It's nice to see my brother join in the fun. Even if its just for a moment. I would say it was my best sacrament meeting ever.