Friday, March 11, 2016

Blessing in Disguise

So hear is a question for you. What would you do if you got very ill...and not just a flu or an upset truly awful "do I need to make a will?" ill.  Your parents arrange for you to get a priesthood blessing.  What do you do?  

When my mother told me she had contacted some Mormons in my town to give a blessing there was a large part of me that wanted to say "No thanks.  I already rubbed a magic onion on my head."  But when the word tumor is floating around Doctors offices you tend to back off form biting remarks.  Did I believe that a priesthood blessing would stop whatever was happening in my head?  No, tho I really wished it would. I admit I  wanted to get back to God simply so I would not feel sick. I wished I had drowns of Mormons to come over and make me dinner, and talk to me, and tell me some dude in the sky was going to make everything okay.

I decided to let my parent arrange a blessing for me.  My sister came over with her husband and an old family friend.  It was really nice to see how much my family cared about me. I felt a little awkward participating in a blessing.  They asked me who I wanted to say the main blessing and I wanted to say "My Sister!"  How cool would that be for me to totally shake the establishment and have a woman give the main--Ouch oh i'm in pain!...  It's hard to be rebellious and desperate at the same time.  

I did really enjoy the comfort that came with the laying on of hands. People visiting me and asking me how I was feeling.  Knowing my family was doing everything they could to keep me together. Helping me with food, cleaning, Doctor appointments, and anything else I needed.  They were there fighting with me God or no God. 

Thankfully the white light at the end of the tunnel was just a tiny doctor flashlight.  I did not die of a brain tumor and after 7 months of doctors and drugs I'm back. 
I think there is nothing wrong with letting your family support you in their own way. However, it did open a door.  Yesterday some ass stole my guitar out of my car.  The guitar I have had since I was a teen.  My most sentimental possession. I called my Mother crying.  I was a mess.  Right there over the phone my mother insisted we pray that it is found.  She stared praying while I frantically ran around my apartment.  I was really annoyed. Like I was a 5 year old being told to say a prayer.   

Turns out the "ass" who stole my guitar found it outside a bar and figured out my name, and gave it to the bar manager who was holding it for me...soooo yeah.  I am the ass who forgot to put it in my car.  My boyfriend Alex was the one who recommend I retrace my steps and call the bar.  When I called my mom relived the Guitar had been found my mom said "Well it's a good thing we prayed". That annoyed me more.

 I said it was a good thing JJ told me to call. My mom and I went back and for trying to figure out who really found my guitar?  Was it me? Was it JJ?  Was it God? Deep in my heart I know who found it.  The credit goes to a mysterious man I have never seen before. He might have a beard, and might even ware sandals.  One thing I know for sure... he likes Christie's Bar and Grill.   

So hear is my question.  Can you allow yourself to get a blessing one day and then argue that God doesn't exist the next?  I don't regret letting my parents get me a blessing, but have I opened an annoying God door I can not close?  I know thinking you are going to die and losing a guitar has a slightly different elements of urgency.  How do you balance sticking to your beliefs against keeping the peace?