About Myself

My name on this blog is Emma. I'm a 26 year old virgin. And when I say virgin I mean everything you were not supposed to do when you were 16 I still have not done. Due to a series of unfortunate events I left my APT in NYC to moved to Utah moved for a man. Then out of Utah and now live at home with my parents.   Two weeks ago I was a gung-ho Mormon.  tiring to fit into a world that felt very unnatural to me.  All of that changed March 30 2013 when I decided to look behind the churches closed door.  My sister left years ago but we all thought it was because hollyweird got to her.  I would not listen to her when she begged me to do my home work about the church. I was her last hope. As a somewhat popular Mormon comic I never thought to question the church.  I used it as a tool for laughter in one of BYU Comedy Groups. I'm still laughing but not with them as much.  Now I’m straddling both worlds.  I'm not out of the Mormon closet yet. No one knows I’m leaving.

 I love my life.  I love my friends at church.  I love my family. Which is why this is so very hard.  I’m a Mormon.  I know it.  I lived it.  I loved it. 

The point of my blog is NOT to prove truth of the universe.  There is enough history out there to both support and denounce The Book of Mormon.  This blog is a way to document my transition. Where am I going?  Well I can’t say for sure but it’s been long over-due.

11 comments:

  1. JoeMay 23, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    Hi. I came across your blog from Life After Mormonism. I'm enjoying your perspective. Though my transition from the faith started long ago, it hit a new bump when my wife of ten years passed away March 31, 2013 - the day after you began your search. Her passing, and things that happened associated with it, confirmed a sense of spirituality. But my feelings about the church have only deepened. I'm going through some of the rebellions that you're considering.

    I'll be interested to know how you're handling the changes in your life. Good luck!

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  2. aMay 23, 2013 at 8:35 PM

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your wife passing. It's a long crazy journey we both are on. I hope that my quirky take on life can bring you some comfort. Good luck joe

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  3. JoeMay 24, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    I definitely feel my share of crazy. It has felt isolating go through this side of things comparatively alone. I do have a lot of nonmember friends (thank goodness) and have shared my feelings with a few of them. But I don't share with some of the people closest to me for fear of opening fresh wounds.

    My mother-in-law recently asked to share my personal calendar so she can coordinate kid activities (she has helped a ton). If I give her access, I'll have to avoid entries like "meet Josh at bar". Lol! I'll be living a little vicariously through you since you're facing this with a relatively clean slate.

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  4. Upchur09August 5, 2013 at 6:14 AM

    Hi, I love the blog. As a fellow recovering ex-mormon I feel your pain! I am 4 years in and still struggling. I have recently started a facebook group called young ex-mormons to try and help people adjust. It's very new and still very small but maybe some of the things i'll be posting will help with the adjustments. https://www.facebook.com/YoungExMormons
    Daniel

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  5. JanelleAugust 5, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    I love your blog so much! I just found it today and read the whole thing in one sitting. You're hilarious and an amazing storyteller, and as an fellow female BYU-graduate exmormon I relate so much to so many of the stories and perspectives and feelings you share. Thank you so much for writing this and don't stop! Also, if it's not completely weird, I'd love to talk to you, specifically about OKCupid. I don't know if that's the dating site you're using (but it's the best one) but I spent the last year dating on OKCupid, and one thing I'd really, really emphasize to you is - OKCupid is not the real world. Not at all. OKCupid is a strange, crazy place (so are all the online dating sites) and while they can be so much fun and you can make them work for you (I met my current boyfriend that way), don't think that the "real world" you've been missing out on, is found on OKCupid. OKCupid is weird by real-world standards too. So if you want a perspective on how to swim with the sharks on OKCupid and not get bitten unless you want to, from the perspective of a fellow female ex-mormon BYU grad, I have plenty to share! faithlesserene@gmail.com

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  6. AnonymousAugust 6, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this blog. It's nice not to feel so alone when I am a 26 yr old female in this same situation. I can identify with every one of your posts. I love reading about your mishaps with mormon and non-mormon men; I have had some myself. I guess they make for great stories now! jen.m.harmon@gmail.com

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  7. AnonymousAugust 19, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    Hello fellow Divine Comedian. We were separated by a few years, but we know most of the same people. It's always nice to see people figuring out the big picture. Drop me a line at admiraldillhole@gmail.com

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  8. AnonymousOctober 17, 2013 at 9:45 PM

    I'm still Mormon, but I love your blog. After living outside of the Provo bubble, I understand the weirdness and often narrow-mindedness of the LDS culture in comparison to people "on the outside." I am glad you decided to make your own decisions, even if that meant leaving the institution you once believed in. That takes a lot of courage.

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  9. AshleyApril 11, 2014 at 9:25 AM

    Love your blog:) stumbled upon it from lifeaftermormonism.. I have 4 step sisters and 2 sisters that are still and always will be mormon... No one talks to me.. Be grateful u still have your family... The LDS institution felt like a prison.... Now I'm free:) good luck on your journey, I wish I had someone like you to talk to about my church issues...

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  10. swissbarkerFebruary 13, 2016 at 2:55 AM

    Hope you've found what you're looking for. If you haven't I'd be happy to talk about struggles with the church and faith with you. Take care.

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  11. swissbarkerFebruary 13, 2016 at 2:56 AM

    Hope you've found what you're looking for. If you haven't I'd be happy to talk about struggles with the church and faith with you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete

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