Monday, April 8, 2013

He Is Calling

*Buzzz*Buzzz *Buzzz

I was paralyzed.  Total Shock.  My phone was ringing and it was a… guy

As you may have noticed from my Post about the ACIDENTAL bra incident I’m not smooth with guys.  The first time a guy told me he loved me I hid behind his couch for an hour.  Well I moved between the couch and table because he kept trying to talk to me about it.  I’ve been dumped by most of my boyfriend. Usually for being too loud, having too much energy, being a feminist, or not having enough of a testimony of Joseph Smith.(or maybe it’s the hiding under the table thing)  I decided to make the switch from Peter Priesthoods to Worldly Waldo.  I joined a few dating sites.  To my surprise many guys were contacting me.  Attractive guys.  See I’m a forward woman…Well at least I was for BYU standards.   I would give guys my number all the time at BYU.  They usually didn’t even ask.  They never actually called.  Or if they did it was to invite me to their mission farewell.  So when I started doing online dating sites I gave my number out to a lot of guys.  Attractive guy…funny thing…they all called me.

It’s really great I’m getting to know so many new people.  One guy has really caught my attention. I invited him into my rather messy apartment. (Smooth) Which I should note is also my parent’s basement(double Smooth)  He is attractive, and fun, and smart, and, he seemed to care a lot about me.  But of course I’m not used to being hunted.  I could see him plotting.   I was a mouse being circled by a hawk…a really sexy hawk.  He would try to kiss me but every time he pulled me in I pulled away.  What was wrong with me?  I really wanted to make out with him!  Oh well. If he never calls me again he must be gay right?

One guy I made the mistake of ordering me wine.  I drank two sips and my head got cloudy. He kept trying to ask me questions and I just said “yes” because it was easier then listening to him talk.  I will say this that guy must have been funny because I was laughing so much Jake my Bartendapist wouldn't let me drive home. 

Another guy I went out with seemed rather nice too.  He is strong and did I mention attractive.(hint: they are all ATTRACTIVE)  last night we had a great time.  Dinner and a show, salsa dancing.  I was flirting with him a lot.  Giving him kissy faces.  When he was giving me a piggy back ride out of the club he just straight up asked me what I was doing tomorrow?

I got freaked out because Salsa dancing guy sent me a text saying he thought I was sexy.  I think he is sexy too but I would never say that to him.  When my phone went off and I saw it was him I froze. I worried if I moved the phone would somehow answer itself.  Once the phone stopped ring I could breathe again.  Why are these men calling me?  Don’t they know I’m a crazy cat lady in the making?  I even told one guy that on the phone.  He just laughed like it was a joke!

Most woman would be thrilled to have attractive men want to meet her.  But I go all Laura Croft on them.  I’m not sure what it is that throw me into a panic.  Maybe it has something to do being a feminist in a slightly sexist religion my whole life? Is it my fear of penises? (I didn’t even know how to spell it. Had to use google) Is it my desire for independence?  Or is it most likely my fear of getting hurt. 

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