Thursday, November 28, 2013

Count Your Many Blessings

It is that time of year.  Time to count our many blessing.  As we struggle with the “What if…”s and “Why?” and “How could they…” I have decided to take a moment to count the good the church has provided in my life.  I know this can be hard.  Especially when you are in the thick of leaving.  But If you spend too much time indulging in negative diatribes you are really only hurting yourself.  When leaving the church perspective can make or break you.  Look at it as an hilarious adventure of awkward silence and sexual blunders!  I encourage everyone who reads this blog to think of at least one thing the church provided for you.  If you feel comfortable leave a comment.  I would love to read them.

Kick Ass Childhood.  My childhood and the church are so interconnected I cannot separate them.  Growing up Mormon made me feel different and special.  It also provided me with a place to rebel and sharpen my comedic skills.  I made it my Job in class to entertain everyone.  (See: Poop Monster) As a result I have performed in front of thousands of people.   It has given me a unique perspective for my stand-up comedy routine.  

My sister Jacky who left before me.  Jacky called me yesterday and told me she wants to be more of a support to me during this time.  She has distanced herself because she was afraid the family would blame her.  Her fear is somewhat exaggerated but I understand.  She was publicly flogged by members of the church just for being on MTV. (See: Parent Trap)

Dating Rejuvenation/Extended Childhood. I've been hurt a few times romantically. Leaving the church has washed away my bitter cat lady mentality.  Every relationshit that haunted is inconsequential.  All of those men were Mormon.  Now as I date I have the mentality of a 17 year old who has never been hurt.  I also have the sexual experience of a 17 year old. I was able to live in that magical adolescent world until I was 26. A world where the word "SEX" makes you giggle and boys still have cooties. (see: The "S" Talk)  

A Super Family.  My family is exceptionally close.  Some of my best memories with my brothers and sisters were suffering through those 3 hours at church.  One time we kids reenacted the entire opening number from the musical CATs while we were supposed to be in class.  When my world fell apart my family picked up the pieces. My mother has always supported me (see: Mommy Doughter)  We are a family together forever.

A Practically Free Education.  BYU provides an excellent intellectual education an a discount for Mormons.  However, I was never a fan of the religion classes and lack of diversity.   I had my share of shit times but over all I had a college experience like no other.  (see: Drinking and Games)

My Friend Seth.  I honestly don’t know where I would be without this guy.  I was rocketing on a path of self-loathing and bitterness but he kicked my butt.  He gave me perspective and a new trajectory.  He helped me let go and move on.  I still bother him from time to time and it is always enlightening (See: Waiting for Gadot)  
This blog and my readers.  It is so amusing to be able to click back and see how much I have grown in the last 7 months.  Reading the comments and E-mails from you makes me feel less alone.  A few of you have even started your own blogs.  That’s GREAT!  I must give special thanks to my editor.  She is just one of my readers who offered to help me with my grammar and my creative spelling.  Unfortunately she could not edit this one.   Her new blog is

My Ex-boyfriend  who was the Best Worst Thing To Happen To Me.  (see: The Princesses and the Penis) I was in deep with the church.  I didn’t believe it but I was not going anywhere.  Cognitive Dissonance baby!   When you are in like I was you need something more than a push.  Thank you Aaron for grabbing me by the hair and throwing me into the volcano.  I can never really thank him.  I’m not sure how to say nicely “You were such a bad guy you made me question everything!”   Of course it was not all his fault. I was letting him teat me that way because I wanted to get my Marriage Merritt Badge.  I was acting Mormon and not living it.  (see: The PerfectProblem).  Regardless, when I look at my future now it is my own.  There is nothing more satisfying then building your own identity. 


  1. When I broke my leg the people at church set around a list for people to volunteer to drive me to class. That was really helpful.

  2. When I broke my leg the people at church set around a list for people to volunteer to drive me to class. That was really helpful.

  3. My friends-the group of friends I made while growing up are still the closest friends I have and the only siblings I really have in my life, I know those people would do anything for me if they could, going through my divorce they have been my biggest support.

  4. I'm exmormon (left a couple years ago), and I still have some of the "mormon naive cheerfulness" in my personality, which in the real/worldly world makes me seem like an optimist. So that's nice. The funny thing is that leaving the church made me happier than ever, and now when people notice my positivity/happiness I can claim it as ME and not the church. :)

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  6. A few years ago I began law school at BYU. There I learned what propelled me out of the mormon church with my wife and kids. That church works for some people, yet for me, I had to leave. A friend recorded me in this video. Like you, there are many amazingly good things. I am glad to be in a new place.